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Everything You Need to Know About Ulsan

You’re Going to be Replaced – by Max Headroom

Those who remember that ancient robotic face from MTV

Your Replacement?

know it was just for fun. But apparently the clowns at the Korea Times believe that’s the kind of technology they need to replace all of us foul native English Speaker Teachers.

The difference between reporting on a technology release and making a technology release is that one of the parties knows they’re lying. Kim Tae-Gyu, reporter for the Korea Times has swallowed whole the garbage that Kim Shin-Hwan, an economist at Hyundai Research had put into his marketing drivel. The ecnonomist-turned-marketer went on to say that by 2018 robots will be able to fully control a classroom on its own.

The notion that 30,000 native English speaking teachers will “lose their jobs in the not-so-distant future” is simply preposterous.  That a computer might one day be able to understand poor pronunciation, tone, context and grammar is indeed possible, but so far into the future that none of us should worry about losing a single job.  But seriously –  being able to control a classroom full of rambunctious children? I simply do not beleive that technology is anywhere near possible (remember, I was once a rocket scientist and designed high tech missile software, so I have a little knowledge about technology.)  That might be wishful thinking on the part of a not-so-small number of Koreans who wish they didn’t have to hire us in the first place.

Although there are already two robots now employed at a school in Masan, I have no doubt that these machines are nothing more than dictionaries on wheels with the ability to speak phrases and wave its arms like the robot from Lost in Space, below.

Further throwing fuel on the fire of idiocy, Kim added that other robots have been developed to help children learn to walk. What more ridiculousness would one need to simply, at this point in the conference, walk out? In the millions of years since humans have evolved and began walking, when did anyone, ever, need a robot to teach a child to walk?

All I can say is that it must have been a slow news day at the Korea Times AND the technical editor must have been still coming off his soju hangover when he approved this worthless piece.

Just for fun, here’s a marketing video of the guided missile I worked on. I also got to dress up like a G.I. and be in the video. See if you can spot me.

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