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Bench Warmers Olympics. The Good, The bad, The Drunk…

So, Friday April 10th saw the opening night of Bench’s Olympics.

The night got off to a bit of a slow start with teams showing up from after 10 to almost 12. Once all of the teams were sorted it was time to begin the games with a ceremonial drink from the magic pot of mystery liquor that Troy had concocted up earlier. Everyone stepped up as a team and took their drink like a man ( except for Tom who bitched, moaned and complained that he can’t drink Vodka. [kidding Tom I know you’re “allergic”])

The teams that are participating in the Olympics are : Tom and Brian as The “The” The’s. They are playing with the Strategy “Thug Em, Drug Em, Fuck Em, Leave Em. So you might want to watch out for them when you’re up against them… Or trying to date them, doesn’t seem like a safe team to be around. Mitch and Darren are playing together as the BushWackers using the strategy “Drink till we’re blackout drunk so if we lose it’s like it didn’t happen.” I don’t know if that will help them win any, but even if it doesn’t it’s not like they will know about it. Ryan and Patrick together make team RamRod. Playing with the belief that “It’s all in the liver” they are a team to watch. Being the only people who have had a challenge accepted they used their livers and won the boat race against Team BS. Team BS, Brett and Seb. Playing with the sadistic Strategy “Kill them All”. Brett called Shenanigans on Tom early on for not finishing his mug of mystery booze and continued to be a bit bitter for the rest of the events.

Chris and JM are the French Connection, bringing just the right amount of French Canadian bullshit to the events. They did have to stop halfway through for a Poutine break, but hey, it has to be done sometimes. They were back in the game immediately after with the strategy “Drink Just Enough” (And apparently take a break for cheesy goodness, although that’s not an official strategic move…) Nathan and Ryan came in a bit late with “We will wipe the floor with them” as their motto. Playing as Benches Best they opened strong winning every game of Foosball they played. Hazel and Beth were the twosome Kiwi Love… I don’t know where  they got their name from but with the Strategy “Go Balls Deep” they won their first two games of beer pong. Well.. “WON” is a term I use loosely. The Beer Pong match up between Kiwi Love and Vivette Rules (Troy and Vivette) Was the longest fucking game of Beer Pong played in History. I don’t know what was more painful to watch, the half assed throwing or Kiwi Love scoring a point by bouncing it off Troys chest when he wasn’t paying attention. Vivette Rules is playing with Troy “Being Proud Of Every Victory” But there was nothing to be proud of there in that moment. Lee and Fin teamed up to make Madden’s Mavericks and their strategy was “Kick Ass, Take Names” Though Lee seemed more adept at hitting on the reporter and Fin just threatened everyone that he would change the scores himself so it didn’t matter who the hell won he was coming in First. Nicci and Andrea played as Bibbity Bobbity Boo! and while they wouldn’t give a team strategy it no doubt has to do with magic and witch craft of some sort. Rules for next year Troy, no black magic allowed.

Ashley and Katherine played as 2 Non-Blondes using “Lot’s Of Beer” as not only their slogan but their Strategy, though they wouldn’t say if it was Drink lot’s of beer themselves or feed it to the other teams… Nate and Craig are the last two participants in the Bench Olympics. While neither one of them is from Halifax they have lived there long enough to Dub themselves Team Halifax or “The Facts” better than admitting your from Ontario I guess… Their strategy is “Kick Em When Their Down” Showing their true Ontario Colors. Now for the results…


BushWackers vs. Team RamRod = Winner: BushWackers

The The The’s vs.Team BS = Winner: Team BS

BushWackers vs The The The’s = Winner: BushWackers

(note, during this game the sentence “Benvie finally steps the fuck up” was uttered by someone in disbelief.)

Team RamRod vs Team BS = Winner: Team BS

(This win led to a Boat race Challenge by RamRod in which RamRod came out on top)

BushWackers vs Team BS Winner: BushWackers.

(Seb blames the Previous mentioned Boat challenge for this loss.)

Team RamRod vs The The The’s = Winners: Team RamRod

Bench’s Best vs French Connection = Winners: Bench’s Best

Beer Pong: (Only three games of Beer Pong were played out of the Six. Blame Troy’s inability to score on the ladies…)

Vivette Rules vs 2 Non Blondes = Winners: Vivette Rules

Kiwi Love vs. Halifax = Winners: Kiwi Love

(Side Note, Halifax also gave up on this game meaning Kiwi Love only won twice because their opponents just couldn’t take it anymore…)

Vivette Rules vs. Kiwi Love = Winner: Vivette Rules

(Again side note. My reporting has Kiwi Love winning this match up, Corey’s reporting has Vivette Rules as the winner. Both teams gave up, you decide who the real winner was.)


Bench’s Best vs. French Connection = Winners: Bench’s Best

Maddens Mavericks vs. Bibbity Boppity Boo! = Winners: Madden’s Mavericks

Bench’s Best vs. Maddens Mavericks = Winners: Bench’s Best

French Connection Vs. Bibbity Boppity Boo! = Winners: French Connection

Bench’s Best vs. Bibbity Boppity Boo! = Winners Bench’s Best

French Connection vs. Madden’s Maverick’s = Winners: French Connection

Bench’s Best vs French Connection = Winners: Bench’s Best

( So really, all Ryan ever did while working was play foosball…ringer.)

And that concludes the match-ups and results for April 10th’s round of the Bench Warmer Olympics. Next Weekend will see the Second round and the Finals. Friday, April 17th and Saturday April 18th; come out and watch the showdown!